A Tale of Two Gluttons
by unfortunateGambler
Summary: Let's skip the "What ifs" and get to the point: This is me taking Jewelry Bonney, putting her at the beginning of the One Piece story, and moving it along from there. Will probably add the other supernovas to the Straw Hats as well. Luffy will have a different Devil Fruit, romance will happen. Maybe lemons if I feel like it. Let's be honest, Bonney doesn't get enough love.
1. The Beginning of Something

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

 **Hello potential readers who are reading this at the current time. This is not my first fanfiction, but it is my first One Piece fanfiction. So, take note that I am not as "in tune" with the characters as I would like to be. I mainly started this because I like Jewelry Bonney and wanted more fanfiction of her. The solution? Do it myself, of course! I also like the idea of Luffy getting a different Devil Fruit. Which one will it be? Will it be one that already exists or will Gambler make one up? Answers to these questions and more with be available in future updates. I accept criticism, but only if it is constructive.**

 **OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned One Piece and it's characters, but I sadly do not. They belong to Oda (lucky bastard). I claim nothing but the writing and the ideas.**

 **ON WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

 **11 Years ago**

It was a beautiful day on Dawn island. The sky was a vibrant blue, with only a few fluffy clouds scattered here and there. Around the island, the waves of the East Blue rolled at a leisurely pace. Even the wind was gentle on this afternoon, almost as if whatever deity that governed the world had decided "Today shall be perfect."

On one of the few beaches that dotted the edges of the island stood a single boy. He was gazing out at the sea in delight, a grin plastered across his face. Dressed in a simple grey T-shirt, black shorts and sandals, the boy was a native of the island. His black hair and loud personality were known by everyone in Foosha Village, the town he called home. It was hard not to know of him with all of the trouble he caused on a daily basis, even at the age of six.

His name was Monkey D. Luffy, and at the moment he was the happiest boy in the world.

"Yeaaaaaaah!"he shouted in joy as he pumped his fist in the air. "Gramps is finally gone!"

Indeed, the marine vessel belonging to the notorious navy hero, Monkey D. Garp, had just crested the horizon. Said man had been on the island for almost a month, implementing his "Special Training" on the small youth, coupled with countless uses of his "Fist of Love" to keep his grandson's wild nature in check. Not that the punches ever did anything but anger the boy, resulting in what most people would consider child abuse.

However, after weeks of torture, Luffy was finally free! Sure, the old dog would eventually be back, but that wouldn't cross the boy's mind for at least a few hours. Now wasn't the time to dread his grandfather's inevitable return. It was time to celebrate!

After jumping and laughing until he fell on his butt, Luffy took a deep breath and lifted a hand to his chin. "Now, what should I do first?" he pondered. His face turned red as he tried to come up with a plan, seeing as thinking was his weak spot. With a snap of his fingers and a twinkle in his eye, he finally decided. "I'll go ask Makino for a plate piled high with meat!"

Jumping to his feet, he started running off in the direction of the town. His eyes practically turned into chunks of cooked beef as drool poured down his chin. Meat was great as a general rule, but Makino had a way of making it taste amazing! Nothing could compare to a-

Luffy's thought process was interrupted when his foot hit something and he fell head first to the ground. This wouldn't have been so bad if his tongue hadn't been hanging out of his mouth at the time, giving him the wonderful experience of receiving a mouthful of soggy sand. In less than a second, he was back on his feet and spitting globs of mud out in disgust.

"Gross!" he whined in between gagging and wiping off his tongue. "Ugh, what tripped me?"

He pivoted on his heel to see the offending object that had sent him flying, only to realize that it wasn't something. It was someone! A small girl with long pink hair and a green fleece hat laid face down in the sand in front of him. Her white shirt and striped orange and black shorts were soaked with sea water, along with the rest of her body. She seemed to be breathing, but Luffy didn't notice that part.

"Oh my god! Is she dead?" he yelled in surprise and concern. He dropped to his knees next to her and proceeded to roll her over. Resting his ear on her chest like Makino taught him, he listened for a heartbeat. "Thank god, she's alive."

The girl appeared to be around the same age as Luffy, her peacefully sleeping face being the main giveaway. Looking closer, he found multiple cuts and bruises on her arms, legs, and head, as if she'd gone toe-to-toe with his grandpa and lost. He didn't recognize her, but maybe Makino would be able to.

Making up his mind, Luffy maneuvered the unconscious girl's body into a position where he could wrap her arms around his neck and pulled her onto his back. Luckily, Luffy was stronger than most kids his age and was able to lift her without any problems at all.

It took about fifteen minutes of walking to get to the edge of Foosha Village. In that time, the most the girl had done was subconsciously tighten her grip on Luffy and nuzzle the side of his neck. Luffy just soldiered on, not stopping or even dropping his smile as he carried someone he didn't even know into town.

To say that he didn't get any strange looks as he navigated his way through the village would be a lie. He was greeted by four or five adults, but nobody asked about the person on his back. Most had learned long ago to just no question anything done by anybody in the Monkey family. By now, it was practically an unspoken rule of the town. So, no one stopped the abnormally strong six-year-old as he casually passed the by.

"Makino! I need some meat and some help!" Luffy announced as he pushed through the swinging doors of Party's Bar, startling a few of the patrons. "I don't really care which comes first."

At the other end of the room, behind the bar which she had just finished cleaning, stood the woman in question. Makino was a young woman with shoulder length dark green hair and soft, kind eyes who always did her best to look after Luffy. On this particular day she wore an orange blouse with black sleeves, a light blue skirt that reached down to her ankles and a pair of orange shoes.

One would expect her to be shocked upon seeing the cheerful boy carrying a sleeping girl on his back, but she had long since gotten over any surprise at his actions. "Hey there, Luffy. I take it Garp's ship is long gone by now?" she asked with a smile.

Luffy's grin grew wider as he approached the counter. "Yeah! I hope he never comes back!"

"Don't be mean, Luffy. You know he loves you."

"Is love _supposed_ to hurt that much?"

Makino paused at that. "You got me there. Anyway, who's the friend you brought with you today?"

Ah, the million belly question that was on everyone's mind.

Luffy looked over his shoulder at the complexion of his passenger, turned back to the older woman, and shrugged. "I dunno. I found her like this on the beach and thought you might recognize her."

This piqued the green haired woman's interest. "I can't get a good look at her from this angle. Here," she said, pulling open the swinging door that separated the two sides of the counter. "Carry her to the back room and take a look at her."

Doing as he was told, the boy walked past Makino and into the kitchen area. A hard right brought him into the spare room he sometimes slept in. It had a simple layout: a bed near the far window, a night stand with an oil lamp on it, a wooden chair sitting in the corner, and a large blue rug covering up the somewhat uneven floorboards.

He crossed over to the bed as Makino followed him in, turning around to shrug the unconscious girl off. With help from Makino, he was able to turn her body so her head rested on the pillow. Her clothes had mostly dried from the sunlight, but were still slightly damp, as was her pink hair. Makino took notice of this, as well as the various injuries that marred her pale skin.

"You said you found her like this?" she asked after closely examining the child to the best of her ability.

"Yep," Luffy replied. "I tripped over her while running back here on the beach. She was a lot wetter back then, though. So, do you know who she is?"

"Unfortunately, no," she said, sadly shaking her head. "I have never seen her anywhere on this island."

"Oh," Luffy mumbled, looking intently at the sleeping body

His concentration was broken when Makino ruffled his hair, a soft smile on her lips. "I'm proud of you, Luffy. You probably saved this young girl's life."

If his smile had been any wider, it would've split his face in two. "Shishishi, it was no problem. Can I have some meat now?"

Makino giggled. "Sure, Luffy. But, you have to stay here and watch her until I get back. You up to the challenge?"

"You bet I am!" the small boy declared.

 **Two hours later**

Luffy was just finish off his plate, which had once been piled high with Makino's special beef roasts, when the girl started to come to. It started with her slowly rolling back and forth, groaning trying to find a comfortable position. When she realized her damp clothes wouldn't allow it, her eyes gradually opened. The first thing she saw was Luffy.

Said boy, who had only taken his eyes off of her a few times in order to for the next piece of meat to pick of his plate, grinned widely at the sight of her purple irises. "Heya, sleepy head!" he exclaimed.

The girl flinched at the intensity of his voice. This boy was obviously way too enthusiastic. Her head was pounding as her vision finally came into complete focus. She was on top of an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room, with an unfamiliar boy who looked and sound like he was experiencing a sugar rush. It didn't take a genius to realize that something was off.

Taking her silence as a sign that he should continue, Luffy held out his hand. "My name is Monkey D. Luffy. Nice to Meetcha!"

The girl hesitantly sat up against the wall behind the bed and took his hand. "I'm... Jewelry Bonney," she replied cautiously.

He shook her hand vigorously with his smile growing wider. "So that's your name! I've been wondering since I found you on the beach! Where are you from?

A sudden spike of pain shot through Bonney's skull at the question. Gripping the sides of her head, she hissed as images passed through her mind rapidly. They were broken and brought random emotions up, but disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. The only picture that stayed was a green fleece hat that carried happiness with it. The same one that rested on her head.

"I..." she began, looking up at the boy who posed the question. "I don't know."

Luffy tilted his head to the side. "You don't know?"

She nodded. "I can't remember anything," she stated sadly.

Seeing his companion coming close to crying, Luffy reached out and grabbed her arm. "Well, that doesn't matter anyway! You're here now and you're safe!"

She looked at him oddly.

Showing a look of resolution, Luffy stood up and pointed at her. "I've decided that I want you to be my friend!" he announced.

"...what?"


	2. Something Something Devil Fruits

**Author's Note"**

 **Hey all of you who got to this chapter without completely abandoning this story. As you can see from the name of this chapter, I am not the most enthusiastic about naming things. This chapter will reveal what changed Devil Fruit Luffy will have, as well as have elements from the original story as well. Sorry about how slowly it's moving along, but that's just how beginnings are. Yeah, that's about all I have to say about it.**

 **As for updating the story, I try to write as much as I can, since I spend most of my time these days waiting and basically doing nothing, but there is a slight problem. My writing process starts with physically writing down a chapter, then typing it onto the computer. Unfortunately, I always grip my pencil too hardd and it ends up causing me pain. So, depending on how inspired I am, I might update more than once a day.**

 **In addition, I would really like some feedback from those of you who like this story. Tell me what you like, what you don't, and what you think I could improve on. I already have most of the story line planned out (That's a lie, I'm basically making this up as I go along) so tell me anything you want. I thrive on criticism of all kinds, guys. That's not an exaggeration. I'm really lazy and seeing reviews helps me motivate myself to write more of this. Go full ham!**

 **OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: People be asking me if I own this shit, and I be like "Hell nah!" I only own the idea and the words I am writing. The characters and original One Piece story belong to Oda, ya fucking dingus. I wish I owned One Piece.**

 **ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

 _ **CHAPTER 2: SOMETHING SOMETHING DEVIL FRUITS**_

 _ **10 years ago  
**_

BANG! BAM! THUD! "Owwww..."

These were the sounds that filled Party's Bar on an early Monday morning. Many of the bar's patrons watched the scene before them with barely-hidden amusement. One man even fell backward out of his chair after laughing so hard. After all, it wasn't a sight they were treated to every day.

Lying on the ground, next to the bar stool he'd just been sitting on, was Luffy. Two large lumps sprouted from the top of his head as he whined in pain. His face was flat against the wooden floor, arms and legs sprawled out to the sides. He remained still, save for the steady flow of groans that escaped his mouth.

The reason for the boy's current state was standing over him, a steaming fist held out where his head used to be. It was a small girl with flowing pink hair, a green fleece hat, violet eyes, and a furious expression that only a woman could make. She glared down at her immobile friend, as if daring him to get back up.

"Bonneyyyyyyyy," Luffy sobbed pathetically. "What was that for?"

Bonney kicked him in the ribs, just hard enough to roll him over. "I did it because you're a complete idiot!"

"I think you're gonna need to be more specific," a voice said from behind her.

The man in question was Shanks. He was an average looking fellow, aside from his bright red hair and the three scars over his left eye. He wore a white, button up long sleeved shirt, brown trousers, a red sash around his waist, and a straw hat with a red ribbon around it. The sly smile on his face said he knew why Bonney had beaten down the poor boy, but he remained silent on the matter as he leaned back and drank his sake.

Bonney turned to glare at him. "Like you don't know," she growled. "I blame you more than him!"

Shanks sputtered in surprise. "What? How is it my fault?"

The pink haired girl stomped up to him and, despite their obvious differences in size and strength, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to her. "Because he did it to try and impress you!"

"How was I supposed to know the anchor would stab himself with a knife?" the man tried defending himself.

"It's Luffy! How can you _not_ expect him to do something stupid?!"

As the two argued back and forth, much to the entertainment of Shanks' crew, the subject of their conversation was just getting to his feet. The bumps on his head were gone, but there was an obvious cut under his left eye that wouldn't disappear so easily. Any doctor could tell that it would eave a scar. He was just lucky he hadn't stabbed himself in the eyeball.

"She's got you there, Shanks," Yassop, the sniper of the Red Hair Pirates, called from another table, which was followed by a chorus of laughter.

Hanging his head in defeat, Shanks raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. He hurt himself on my watch, so I take full responsibility.

"Does that mean I can join your pirate crew?" Luffy cut in, eyes shining like stars.

BAM! Once again, Luffy hit the floor, his best friend's clenched fist steaming. "Stop asking that, you moron!"

Shanks chuckled. "Don't sweat it, Bonney. No matter how many times he begs me, the answer will always be no."

"Give me one good reason I can't join!" Luffy shouted, already standing again.

"Reason number one," the man began, holding up a finger. "You can't swim. In fact, you sink like a rock, which is why we call you an anchor. Swimming is vital for any kind of sailor."

Luffy faltered for a second, before regaining his vigor. "So what if I can't swim? I'm an amazing fighter! My punches are like pistols!" He punched the air for effect.

Bonney sighed, climbing up one of the bar stools to sit on it. "There he goes again. Why can't I have a normal friend who doesn't try to get himself killed every five minutes?" she thought out loud.

From behind the counter, Makino giggled at her exasperation as she set of piece of pizza in front of the girl. "Well, you gotta admit, things are certainly more interesting with Luffy around."

A small smile graced the child's features. Yeah, she thought.

Over the past year, Bonney had really come out of her shell. Only someone like Luffy could turn that cautious, timid girl into the brash tomboy she was now. His overwhelming happiness and inability to give on her had a serious impact, and by now the two were practically inseparable. It was only right that she look after the idiot she called her best friend.

Speaking of the devil, Luffy took a seat next to her and pouted. "Stupid tomato head," he grumbled, reaching for a piece of meat on the plate in front of him. "Who cares if I'm only seven? I'm old enough to sail. *chomp*"

Bonney reached over to flick the boy in the ear. "Stop whining, moron. No matter what you do, you're not gonna get him to say yes, so just give up already.

"Why would you say something so mean? It's my dream to become a pirate!"

"Well, dream or not, you're not going with them any time soon," she replied before digging into her pizza.

If one thing could be said about the duo, it would be that they sure could eat. Not a single person in Foosha Village understood how two small children could pack in so much food in a single sitting, yet not show any adverse side effects. Any other children would be obese after one day's worth of the food just one of them consumed. It was fortunate that Makino was more than happy to sate their ravenous hunger, and Shanks was kind enough to pay the tab.

After plowing through about five meals worth of meat and pizza, they paused to look around the bar. Shanks was drinking like there was no tomorrow, Yassop entertained villagers with tales of their travels, Benn Beckman cleaned his rifle off to the side, and Lucky Roo seemed to have passed out.

"Hey, Bonney," Luffy whispered, drawing her attention.

"Yeah?"

"Ready for dessert?" he asked mischievously, reaching into his pockets, which were both bulging comically. From them, he retrieved two odd looking fruits. The first resembled an apple, only it was blue and had strange swirling lines all over. The other had a similar pattern, only it was grey and had more of a pear-like shape. He offered her the grey one with a grin.

"Uh, Luffy," she wavered as she took the fruit. "These look really weird. Where did you get them?"

He shrugged. "They were in that unlocked chest on the floor," he stated, jerking his thumb in its direction. "I was just thinking: if Shanks won't take me seriously, he doesn't need his dessert!"

"I don't know," Bonney mumbled, looking all over the pear. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Luffy grinned evilly at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were a chicken! Feel free to give it back."

The accusation brought a red tint to her cheeks. "I'm not a chicken! I'll eat the stupid thing!" If there was one thing she hated, it was being called a coward.

"Okay. On the count of there," he started, prompting both of them to raise their respective fruits to their mouths. "One...two...three!"

CHOMP!

Both of their faces scrunched up at the indescribably horrible flavor of the fruits. Bonney's tasted like ashes and old dirty socks, while Luffy's tasted like raw fish and was extremely watery. However, neither kid wanted to show weakness, so they both chewed, swallowed, and took more bites of the rotten food. It took every ounce of willpower Luffy had not to throw up, and Bonney's eyes were visibly watering. By the time they were done, both of their heads came down on the counter, their tongues hanging out.

"Worst...desert...ever," they said in unison, neither having the strength to look up.

Just as they were recovering, the front doors of the bar slammed open, silencing everyone. Through them stepped a tall man with black hair and an X shaped scar on his forehead. His hand rested on the hilt of the sword strapped to his waist as he strolled into the building, followed by a group of similarly dressed me.

He approached Makino, a smug look on his face. "My name is Higuma, and we're mountain bandits. We're not here for trouble, we just want ten barrels of sake. Make it snappy, wench."

The woman smiled apologetically. "Sorry, but we're all out of sake."

"What are they drinking? Water?" Higuma demanded, gesturing to the pirates.

"No, it's sake, but that's the last of it."

"Hey," Shanks called out, catching the bandit's attention as he held out a bottle. "Sorry we drank all the rest, but you can have this one. We haven't touched it yet."

Higuma walked over to the smiling pirate. With a scowl, he grabbed the bottle and smashed it over the man's head. Glass and alcohol fell to the floor. The temperature of the room seemed to drop as Makino looked on with horror.

"Just who do you think I am?" Higuma growled. "Don't take me so lightly. One bottle isn't enough. See this?" He held up a wanted poster with his face. "My head is worth eight million bellies. I'm one of the prime fugitives here and I've killed fifty-six people, you cocky bastard. Now that you know who I am, don't mess with me again."

There was a moment of pause as Shanks looked back at him, but it passed when Shanks leaned over to pick up the shattered glass. "Sorry about that, Makino. Do you have a mop?"

"Nonono, it's alright," she stuttered. "I'll clean it up."

Becoming even more pissed off, Higuma drew his sword and slashed at Shanks, barely missing and catching the plate and cup on his table, and leaving a gash in the wood. "Well, it seems you really enjoy cleaning. Now you can enjoy it more!" He declared as he turned to leave. "Later, you bunch of losers."

The bar was quiet once again as Makino rushed around the counter to help shanks up. "Are you alright, captain? Did you get hurt?" she questioned frantically.

"No, I'm fine," the straw hatted man replied before cracking a smile. "Phew!"

In an instant, the room was filled with laughter, the captain's included. The pirates howled about how the bandits really humiliated him, but no a single one seemed upset. Neither Luffy nor Bonney could understand it.

"Why are you laughing?" Luffy yelled at Shanks, jumping down from his stool. "That was disgraceful! Why didn't you fight him? So what if they have more people? Who laughs after getting hurt? You're not a man, and not a pirate either!"

Shanks gave him a thoughtful smile. "Look, Luffy. I know how you feel, but it's just a bottle of sake. You shouldn't get all worked up over it."

"Just calm down," Bonney interjected, hopping down next to Luffy and grabbing his arm. "I don't really get it, but if Shanks isn't worried about it, you shouldn't be either."

"Who's side are you on?!" he asked as he jerked away from her. "If he was a man he...w-would...AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

What could possibly stop him in the middle of his tirade, you ask? Well, just the fact that his right arm, the one his friend was holding, had liquefied all the way up to shoulder. Said liquid was clear and splashed onto the floor, leaving the two children to scream as they stared at the undulating liquid that clung to where his shoulder once was.

"Your arm is gone!"

"I know!"

"It turned into water!"

"I know!"

"We need to get you to a doctor!"

"I kn-"

"Captain! The chest we got from the enemy ship is empty!" Lucky Roo shouted from across the room.

"What?! You mean the one with the Devil Fruits in it?!" Shanks asked, already getting an idea of where they went.

"Yeah!" Roo replied, running up to the frightened kids. "Luffy, did you eat the contents of this chest?!"

Luffy and Bonney both gulped, not even thinking about the former's missing limb anymore. "Um...I ate one and she ate the other. Weren't they dessert?"

Shanks grabbed both of them by the front of their shirts, his expression manic. "You idiots! Those were Devil Fruits! Fruits cursed by the sea devil! In exchange for the power they give, you'll never be able to swim at all! Period! We don't even know which one either of them those were!"

The true horror of the situation sinking in was enough to make Luffy drop to his knees, an expression of hopelessness on his face. Bonney wasn't fairing much better, either. She had eaten a cursed food because of Luffy, and now she was a freak! This had to be the worst day ever!

Strangely, a light seemed to turn on in Luffy's mind. He looked up hopefully at his hero. "Uh... Shanks?"

"What?"

"Does this mean I can join your crew?"

BAM!

Ten minutes Later

Shanks grumbled to himself as he walked through the forest outside of Foosha Village. His hands each gripped the collars of one of the two trouble makers, whom were being dragged behind the exasperated man. Both were conscious, and Luffy had regained his arm, but neither made a move to resist their fate.

"Luffy?"

"Yeah, Bonney?"

"I just wanted you to know before we die: this is all your fault, and I hate you."

"Yeah..."

...

"Bonney?"

"Yeah, Luffy?"

"I think I screwed up."

"What was your first clue?" she retorted sarcastically, gesturing to the man dragging them.

"Would it help to say I'm sorry?"

"'Sorry' won't help me when I'm dead, moron."

"Yeah..."

After about fifteen more minutes of silence, the trio came upon a clearing with a single stump in the middle. Dropping his passengers, shanks sat on the stump and covered his face with his hands. He remained quiet as Luffy and Bonney stood up and faced him. They were clearly nervous, so he decided to open with something safe.

"I'm not going to punish you guys, so you can calm down," he began, lowering his arms to his knees. "To be honest, this is all my fault. I should've locked that chest, knowing how Luffy would grab any food in sight, and for that, I'm sorry."

The two children sighed in relief.

Shanks frowned, reaching into his pocket and pulling a small book. "However, that isn't to say that either of you is safe. Devil Fruits are serious business, and the ones you ate are no exception. This book contains all of the known devil fruits in existence, from what they look like to the powers they give. Most Devil Fruit users know the name of the one they've eaten immediately after consuming them, but I suspect this is being delayed with you two because you're so young. I want you to look through this book and tell me when you find the fruits you ate. Understood?"

Bonney took the book as he handed it to her, quickly opening it to the first page. Knowing the gravity of her situation, she began flipping through the pages. Luffy was looking over her shoulder the whole time, entranced by the colorful rainbow of fruits that whizzed by. It was quite amusing for his simple mind.

"There!" the little girl shouted, pointing at a picture that looked exactly like the grey pear.

Shanks grabbed the book and examined the page. _'The Age-Age fruit,'_ he read to himself. _'A Paramecia type Devil Fruit. Documented users of this fruit have shown the ability to manipulate their body's physical age without affecting mental function. No other information is known. Well, damn. That's a dangerous weapon in the hands of a woman.'_ "Alright, we'll dog ear that page. Now find the other one."

Once again, the duo went about searching the many pages for a single fruit. Minutes passed without a peep, and when twenty had gone by Shanks started getting impatient. He was rewarded for his patience when Bonney closed the book and handed it back.

"Sorry, but it isn't in there," she said sadly.

"...What?"

"She said the book didn't have it," Luffy replied, wondering if Shanks had somehow gone deaf.

Time seemed to stop for the red haired man. Not only had Luffy eaten a Devil Fruit, but it was one that had never even been identified or catalogued. For all he knew, the seven-year-old could've gained god-like powers. This was really, really bad.

"Shanks!" Luffy shouted, breaking him out of his stupor.

Shaking his head, the man glanced at the small boy and smiled. _'Well, whatever fruit he has, it's not like he's going to destroy the world with it...right?'_

* * *

 **POST NOTE:**

 **That's a wrap for that chapter. In case you were wondering, the fruit our favorite Doofus ate was the Water-Water Fruit, a Logia and a powerful one at that. It will effect his journey in a huge way, but mostly his personality will stay the same. That's all I'm saying on that matter...for now.**

 **I decided I was going to skip over the Higuma incident where Shanks loses his arm and gives Luffy his hat, because it would basically be the same as every other person who wrote it. Just know that it happened almost exactly like it did in the anime and manga, and that it will still be alluded to in future chapters. The only really difference would be Adding Bonney, but we all know this story is going to have more of her than most of you can handle.**

 **Questions? Comments? Concerns? Complaints? Leave them all in a review or even PM me. Like I said before, always up for criticism. COME AT ME BRO! or, don't, you know, it's your choice.**

 **This is Gambler signing off until next time.**


	3. A Something Adventure Begins!

**Author's Note:**

 **Hey all of you who have stuck with me this far. I've had some good feedback, and some bad feedback on this story, but most of it has been good. It has inspired me to write even more, and I even found a person to bounce ideas off of. Thanks to** **Tonlor** **for helping with this. It's just so nice to finally find someone who I can discuss One Piece with without them calling me a nerd.**

 **Anyhow, I'd like to address some things: No, I'm not burning myself out by writing as much as I can throughout the day. I've had a couple of people tell me to pace myself, and trust me I do. I just need to get all of these ideas out of my brain before it explodes.**

 **Next, I had a random guest ask if Bonney would be meeting Ace and Sabo. She will, but it will only be shown in flashbacks. This chapter marks the beginning of the adventure, so that's how it will pan out. Don't worry, though, they will definitely be present later on.**

 **As for the questions of whether there will be any pairings other than Luffy and Bonney, the answer is Yes. However, as I'm mostly making this up as I go along and basing it around a general skeleton of how I want the story to play out, it's up in the air as to how characters might get together. I can't control how they feel about each other (OR CAN I?)**

 **Finally, on the topic of Luffy's devil fruit, I know that the Water-Water fruit is a bit overdone in the OP fandom, but it was something that I wanted to write out and put my own special spin on. For those of you who can overlook this unsightly and unoriginal fruit, thank you for your time and patience. For those of you who can't, the door is over there.**

 **Alrighty then! Obligatory Disclaimer timed: I don't own anything except the words I'm writing and the story idea itself. One Piece and its characters belong to Oda. (Lucky Bastard.)**

 **PS: This is where the cursing really starts. Just FYI**

 **ON WITH THE CLUSTERFUCK!**

* * *

 _ **Present Day  
**_

It was a quiet night in Foosha Village. Every dwelling in the entire town was devoid of light, the residents having long since hit the hay. Not very surprising, seeing as the time was approaching two o' clock AM. Who in their right mind would be up at this ungodly hour?

An answer to this question came in the form of two figures sitting on the end of the village's docks. The full moon in the cloudless sky shown down on them, illuminating and revealing them to be a pair of teenagers.

The first was a boy with messy black hair held back by a straw hat. His clothing was simple, consisting of a sleeveless blue vest, brown cargo shorts with white highlights, and a pair of sandals. Lanky would be the best description of his overall physic, but he gave off an air of power that even a novice warrior could feel. A small scar marred the skin under his left eye, and a calm expression that seemed to reflect the state of the sea itself dominated his features.

Next to him, sporting a much more curvaceous figure, was a girl. Some might say she dressed rather skimpily, with her white low-cut tank top, orange-and-black striped buckle shorts with thin suspenders, and colorful stockings that disappeared into brown boots. A gold piercing stuck out below the right of her purple eyes, and a green fleece hat sat prominently atop her long pink hair. She appeared to be slightly conflicted.

"You sure you want to do this, Bonney?" Luffy asked, still staring out at the ocean.

Bonney frowned, looking down at her lap. "Yeah, Luffy. You know I hate long emotional goodbyes. The notes we left should be enough."

Luffy turned to her. "This could be our last chance to see anyone here for a few years. I know you've grown to love everyone in town as much as I do."

She glanced at him with a sad smile. "Yeah, but I'd rather leave now, when I have enough conviction and determination."

He grinned back. "Okay, then," he said, lifting himself up to his full height and reaching down to help her as well. Once she was on her feet, he faced away from her and knelt down. "Hop on."

The two of them had been planning their departure for months now, but it was only four days ago that they decided to depart in the dead of night. Many ideas were tossed back and forth, and after much consideration, it was decided they couldn't use a boat; the main reason being that it would cause too much noise when setting sail. Fortunately, they had the perfect solution.

Without any further warning, something happened that anyone who didn't know the duo would be shocked by. Bonney started to rapidly shrink, losing at least twenty-five inches in the process. In no time at all, she had transformed into a child. Her clothes now fit her better and covered more skin, not having been affected by the metamorphosis.

With her transformation completed, she proceeded to climb up Luffy's back. Removing his straw hat and leaving it to hang behind his neck, she continued upward until she was sitting on his shoulders. It was a familiar seat that she liked to take advantage of whenever possible.

"If you drop me, I swear that I will kill you," she threatened her friend as he straightened back up, her voice matching her small stature.

"Shishishi," he laughed to himself, picking up a large duffle bag on the ground, slinging it over his shoulder, and strolling back to the dock's edge. "Wouldn't dream of it." With no other preparations to deal with, he jumped off.

Now, any sane person could tell you that this was a terrible idea. Both participants in this suicidal stunt were Devil Fruit users. Even in the East Blue, it was known that those who had eaten the cursed Devil Fruits couldn't swim, and these two were no exception. They'd sink like rocks. There was no possible way they were that stupid, right?

Well, any Grand Line pirate would be stupefied by what happened next. The moment Luffy's sandals hit the water, they stopped. Defying all know laws of nature known to sailor throughout the world, Monkey D. Luffy was standing on the water as if it was as solid as stone. However, neither of the Devil Fruit users present thought anything of it, as they'd performed this "miraculous" act more times than either could count.

"So...what's the plan again?" Luffy inquired, already beginning to take steps away from the docks.

Bonney sighed, shaking her just discussed this an hour ago! How could you have forgotten already?"

"I dunno," he replied with a shrug. "I was thinking about meat."

His small companion groaned. "We're going to walk until we find either an island or a boat we can commandeer. It would help if you payed attention when I explain things, ya know?"

A moment of silence filled the air, followed by Luffy jerking his head to the side. "What? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

Bonney roared as she pounded the top of his head with her fists. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

 ** Ten hours later**

"I spy with my little eye something... white!"

"Cloud."

"Wow! How did you guess that so easily?" Luffy asked, looking up at the friend on his shoulders.

"Bonney rested her head on her arms, which were crossed on top of Luffy's hair, and closed her eyes. "Well, you picked water last time, and that's all that's out here: clouds and water. What's the point of playing I Spy when there's nothing around to 'spy?'"

Luffy lowered his gaze in defeat. "I just thought a game would lighten the mood."

"Well, you failed, dumbass," she berated. "We've been out here for ten hours now. Our food supply is gone, there don't seem to be any fish in the area that we could catch, and there's nothing around us for miles. You'd think by now we'd at least find a small-"

"Ship!"

"Yeah, Luffy. Way to steal my thunder," she grumbled.

"No, Bonney! I mean I see a ship!" he exclaimed, immediately causing her eyes to snap open.

Indeed, a large ship had somehow appeared off in the distance, and was sailing in their direction. Pink, red, and white were the only colors that could be seen on the vessel, and hearts covered almost every inch of it, even the sail. A Jolly Roger was raised high atop the mast, but its skull was sideways and had, you guessed it, a heart in the middle.

"You think they'll help us out?" Luffy question, having stopped in his tracks.

"I don't think so," Bonney responded, a hand raised to her chin in thought. "They're obviously pirates, so I'd bet all of the flies in your head that they're not friendly."

Luffy mimicked her pose. "How do we get their attention, then?"

A second passed before they both snapped their fingers, reaching the same conclusion at the same time. "Tactic Fifteen."

* * *

Up in the crow's nest of the overly-girly ship, stood a man with a telescope. He'd been keeping an eye out for any enemy boats, defenseless merchant ships, or really anything other than the blank ocean surrounding him on all sides since dawn, with no luck. The captain had even told him he wasn't allowed down until he had something to report, and he was getting hungry. He would've complained, but even he wasn't stupid enough to talk back to her.

Halfway through one of his visual sweeps, though, he was rewarded with more than he bargained for. What he saw off the bow was so ridiculously illogical that he initially thought he was hallucinating from the heat. But no, a second look confirmed that it was there, plain as day, and caused him to question reality.

"Uh... Bobby?" he shouted.

"What is it, Butch? You find something useful?" the gruff voice of the first mate came back.

"Um, I don't know about that."

"Then what is it?"

"W-well, the best way I can describe it would be...hitchhikers?"

"...What?"

"Just take a look for yourself!" he called out, dropping the spy glass and pointing toward the front of the ship.

Bobby caught the instrument and wandered over to the bow. "I swear, if you're wasting my time, Butch, I will...crush..."

The sight he was treated to was probably the strangest thing to ever grace his eyeballs. Out in the middle of the ocean, standing on the waves themselves, was a teenage boy in a blue vest. On his shoulders was a small child who couldn't have been older than eight, probably the boy's little sister. However, the oddest thing about this reality-shattering sight scene was that each of them was holding out a thumb, as if they were trying to catch a ride on the side of the road.

The first mate's jaw dropped, his brain unable to process the ludicrous nature of the current situation. I wasn't until five minutes later, when the rest of the crew had gathered around him and could see the odd spectacle, that he was snapped out of it. This was courtesy of one brave man who dared to tap on his shoulder.

"What should we do, Bobby?" he asked, the crew not knowing how to handle this.

Infuriated by the fact that he'd been so easily caught off guard, he glared in the direction of the kids and growled. "Send them to a watery grave!"

* * *

This was Tactic Fifteen: "Fool Stupid Pirates Into Capturing Harmless Strangers Lost at Sea. The basic idea behind it was that if said pirates thought they weren't a threat, they'd easily let their guard down. The implementation of the plan was Luffy's brain child; "because who ever heard of a dangerous hitchhiker?"

That logic was blown to bits, though, when a cannonball splashed mere feet from where they were standing. Both of them slowly turned their heads to look at the point of impact, small droplets falling around them. Within seconds, the sound of several cannons being fired reached their ears, followed by the telltale whistling of more projectiles coming their way.

"Luffy."

"Yeah, Bonney?"

"Run!"

"Gotcha!" he responded with an excited grin, bending his knees and leaning forward. "Hold on! **Hydro Dash**!" Instantly, the duo shot off like a bullet. Using his control over water, Luffy pushed off the surface below him, while simultaneously willing the water to launch him in the same direction. The result was a burst of speed that rivaled a cheetah. He rapidly weaved in between the cannonballs as they fell, not the least worried about being hit. One could even hear the sound of his gleeful laughter through the splashes, if they listened hard enough.

Throughout their zigzagging approach to the offending ship, Bonney held on tight and imagined all of the ways she would punish the ones firing at them. 'What pirate even does that, anyway,' she thought angrily. "Even novice pirates capture castaways and either kill them, sell them, or force them to join the crew. That's like "Evil Pirating 101!"'

Upon reaching the port side of the vessel, Luffy stopped for a brief moment, " **Hydro** ," he began, crouching and building up power in his legs. " **Jet**!" Those on deck were shocked as a pillar of water erupted right next to the ship, reaching almost a hundred feet in the air. As it dissipated, two shapes descended from its peak, eventually landing with dual thuds on the boat.

During the fall, Bonney had returned to her true physical age, and was now being ogled by the men around her. Unfortunately for them, she was incredibly pissed. "Alright! Here's how this is going to go down. First, you are all going to tell me which asshole decided it was okay to kill us. Next, my friend and I will beat you dumbasses to a bloody pulp. Finally, we're gonna steal your ship and leave you dead in the water! Any questions?"

"Now, now," a smooth, seductive voice said from behind the gathered pirates. The source made herself known as she stepped out in from of her guests. "Must you really be so vulgar towards my men?"

To say that the woman was gorgeous would be an understatement. He dark hair fell perfectly down to her sizable breasts, which were only held back by and red and white striped bikini top. A purple coat served to cover her slip arms and trailed down past her form-fitting pink Capri-length pants. The most noteworthy aspects of her wardrobe were her pearl necklace and white cowboy hat with a large red feather coming out of it. To all of the men observing the stand-off, aside from the ever-clueless Luffy, if was difficult to determine who was dressed more provocatively: the captain or Bonney.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" the latter growled in irritation.

A small chuckle escaped the older woman. "Let me answer that with a question. Boys, who is the most beautiful pirate in all of the seven seas?"

"You, of course, Lady Alvida," her crew replied in unison, hearts in their eyes.

"There you go," she stated smugly. "I am Captain "Iron Club" Alvida of the Alvida Pirates. But, I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself. It's common courtesy to introduce yourself first when on someone else' ship, you know. Such terrible manners."

"Oooooooohhhh," Luffy interjected, drawing all eyes to him as he placed his straw hat on his head. "That does make sense. Sorry about that. My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm going to be King of the-" He was interrupted by a fist pounding him into the floorboards, making the surrounding men wince.

"Don't apologize to this bitch! Need I remind you she tried to kill us?" Bonney creamed at his immobile form.

"Wow," Alvida commented. "You're even more beastly than I first thought. Although, it wasn't me who gave the-"

"You shut up!" Bonney shouted in her direction, reaching down to pick Luffy up. "And you, beat the shit out of these guys!"

"Why, they're being so nice right now!" Luffy laughed, just before a bulled whizzed between them. "I stand corrected."

That single gunshot from Alvida was enough of a signal for her men to attack. She missed on purpose, already expecting the two intruders to have a few tricks up their sleeves. It would be easier to let her cannon fodder crew expose them. If she was correct, they were just like her. So, she stayed back to watch the fight.

The first to rush the duo was the first mate himself, wielding a large battle axe. He confidently swung it horizontally, hoping to decapitate them before they could even think of fighting back. However, both saw it coming. Bonney ducked and rolled to the side, uppercutting a pirate who'd been aiming a rifle at them. Luffy, on the other hand, had a better idea.

Time seemed to slow down as the blade neared his neck, but it never reached its destination. In a single fluid motion, Luffy rotated around the weapon, raised a fist, and smashed it down on the axe, breaking through the thick metal. Using the man's surprise to his advantage, he then sucker punched him in the gut hard enough to send him crashing through the wooden railing and into the ocean.

The next second, another gunshot was heard, the source being Bonney. She'd nicked a pair of flintlock pistols off an enemy after downing him with a kick to the junk, and was now using them to thin out the herd of thugs. Whereas Luffy preferred to fight with his bare hands, Bonney's combat style included weaving through the battlefield, using anything and everything as a weapon. The only rule, which she promised to Luffy, was to never land a fatal blow of any kind. Neither of them wanted to be murderers. Although, that didn't mean she couldn't cause a lot of pain, as was evident by the man with a bleeding hole in his shoulder.

Her next two rounds buried themselves in the thighs of another pirate, causing him to drop to his knees. A kick to the face later, and she moving on. Holding up one gun block an overhead sing from a saber, she used the other to fire into his stomach. One after another, enemies dropped like flies, her twisted smile the last thing they saw before passing out. When she ran out of ammo, she dropped the pistols and grabbed a rifle, never slowing down in her quest to eliminate every last pirate on this ship.

All the while, Luffy was fairing just as well. In fact, these losers were so weak that he didn't even have to use his powers. His own raw strength was enough to finish most of them off. He used his natural agility and flexibility to dance around the blades and bullets sent his way, flowing between them like water. Some of the strikes came close enough to barely graze his skin, but they all inevitably missed and were met by violent counterattacks.

Alvida observed the one-sided fight with intrigue. The two teenagers were obviously outnumbered at twenty-five to one, yet they were tearing apart these hardened criminals like tissue paper. "They simply can't be human," she mumbled, a sly grin overtaking her features. "I think it's time for me to join the fun."

As the final grunt fell, his face showing an imprint of four knuckles, Luffy stopped to survey the aftermath. "Phew!" he sighed, taking off his hat and sitting on a barrel. "That was really fun!"

Blowing the smoke out of her current pistol, Bonney turned to make a comment about Luffy being stupid, but stopped when she saw Alvida behind him. In her right hand, she held a giant black club with spikes covering it, and it looked like she was getting ready to smash Luffy's brains in. Thinking fast, Bonney aimed and fired at the opposing woman.

In an unexpected turn of events, the moment the bullet made contact with her stomach, it slid off and continued into a wall. With nothing to impede her, Alvida brought her weapon down on the unsuspecting teen's head. Upon impact, Luffy's head exploded, the rest of his body collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Alvida was slightly surprised, but more disappointed than anything.

"Is that really all it took to kill him?" she remarked, glancing over at the look of horror Bonney was giving her. "What? You thought a simple bullet could stop me? I've got news for you, honey: I ate the Smooth-Smooth fruit, one of the cursed Devil Fruits. My skin is so smooth that attacks merely slide off, and the most I feel is a slight tickle. Honestly, I expected more from your little friend here, but I guess he's-"

"I'm what?"

The look of horror on Bonney's face morphed into one of triumph. Of course she knew that a single blow like that couldn't kill her captain. She just needed to distract Alvida long enough for Luffy to reform and catch her off guard.

Said woman spun around, taking a step back upon seeing the boy she thought she crushed. "What? How are you still alive?!"

Luffy chuckled and held up his left arm, turning it crustal clear in an instant. "I ate a Devil Fruit, too," he said happily. "The Water-Water fruit. My entire body is made of water, so your cheap sneak attacks won't work on me."

Regaining her composure, Alvida tightened her grip on her iron club. "So what if you can't be touched? That just means we're at a stalemate!"

"No really," Luffy replied, his other arm liquefying as well. " **Aqua Prison**!"

Thrusting his palms forward, a large torrent of water surged toward the arrogant pirate. It engulfed her entirely, sapping her strength as it did. As the initial blast subsided, what remained were five binding rings that immobilized the woman. Her arms were bound to her sides and her legs were just as stuck together. The feeling of weakness didn't disappear, though, leaving the once-proud captain lying at Luffy's feet in defeat.

"How?" she whimpered. "How could I be beaten so easily?"

Just to rub salt in her wounds, Bonney strolled over and sat on her back. "There's a saying from our hometown that you really should learn," she informed her seat.

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"No matter how strong you are," she quoted, smiling up at Luffy. " _There's always a bigger fish_."

* * *

 **POST NOTE:**

 **That is another chapter down. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this one, to be honest. I even laughed at a few of my own jokes (How pathetic is that?")  
**

 **On the topic of Bonney's vulgarity, I just see her as the kind of person who curses more when she gets pissed. That's just my opinion.**

 **As always, I thrive on reviews, whether they be simple praise, questions, or criticisms. How do you think I'm doing with this? Do you think I could do better? All criticism is accepted! You can even PM me if you don't feel comfortable with everyone seeing your review. That's your prerogative, man. (Or girl)**

 **On a final note, feel free to inform me if you see any Typos that are getting on your nerves. I strive to make this story the best piece of amateur garbage possible, but even i can't catcheverything. Just foos for thoughti**

 **Well, this is Gambler signing off until next time. Later!**


	4. New Something or Other

**Author's Note:**

 **Hello my faithful readers. As you can tell, this chapter took a bit longer to write than my other ones. I just couldn't seem to find the right words to string it together, for some odd reason.  
**

 **I am honestly surprised that this story I started up on a whim already has over sixty followers, and only a week has passed. That is ridiculous. Even I wouldn't follow my own story. But, that's just the stereotypical self-deprecating author in me speaking. I'm sincerely thankful for all of you that decided to join me on this adventure of insanity and plot deviation.**

 **As always, I'm thankful to all of you who reviewed my previous chapter, and especially thankful to Awareness Bringer for beta reading this chapter, and to Tonlor again for practically handing me the skeleton for the chapter after this one. You the real MVPs, guys.  
**

 **Now, for something concerning Luffy. It is true that with the displays of his powers so far that it seems that he's extremely overpowered, and without further explanation of how they work it's not a bad conclusion. Let me just say this: the Aqua Prison move doesn't take away a Devil Fruit User's powers, it just makes them weaker. Alvida submitted easily because she's a relatively weak enemy. If Luffy used that move on someone like any of the Seven warlords of the sea, it would easily be broken out of. Also, as will be expanded upon later in the story, his powers have a LOT of drawbacks, depending on how he uses them. The last chapter was just me showcasing Luffy's abilities and how they can be applied in fights. Sorry if it got you saying "Oh god, it's another OP Luffy story, so it's garbage." There is a thing called exposition, and we're just getting to the beginning of it. Seriously people, I'm doing my best.**

 **Now that my moping is out of the way, there's the obligatory thing I must say: I don't own One Piece or its characters. I only own the words I type and the ideas in my head.**

 **ON WITH THE TRAIN WRECK!**

* * *

For the first time she could remember in her entire life, Alvida found herself at a loss for words. That was saying a lot, considering she'd been through countless situations that would leave most men and women speechless. From eating a Devil Fruit that transformed her into a slim goddess; to witnessing her crew torture civilians to the point of begging for death; all the way to the boy she recently smashed into liquid, only for him to be perfectly intact seconds later. She always had a witty remark or taunt of some kind.

None of those scenarios could've prepared her for the scenario playing out before her.

 ***FLASHBACK***

Shortly after defeating the captain of the Alvida Pirates, who laid helpless on the deck of her own ship, Luffy set about the task of cleaning up the mess he and Bonney made (AKA: picking up the unconscious bodies littering the floor.) It was a tedious job, loading all of the downed pirates who hadn't been knocked off the ship into the three life boats, but the young man did it all with a content smile.

Bonney remained seated on top of Alvida, unwilling to let her move a single inch. She knew how powerful Luffy's **Aqua Prison** was, having been the main guinea pig for the development of the attack, but she was also aware of the ways a person could potentially wiggle out of the strong rings. Devil Fruit user or no, she wasn't taking any chances.

"Who are you guys, anyway?" Alvida questioned weakly. "Bounty hunters, maybe? you're going to turn me in for my five-million belly bounty, aren't you?"

Bonney scoffed. "I wouldn't be caught dead as a bounty hunter. They're a bunch of brutish oafs who only think about themselves. No tact whatsoever."

"Sounds right up your alley," the older woman mumbled.

A punch to the head later, Bonney continued. "As I was saying, we aren't bounty hunters. We're pirates. As for what we do with you, that's up to the captain over there," she finished, jerking her thumb at Luffy.

Alvida was mildly confused. "Wait a minute...how could you be pirates? Where's the rest of your crew?"

"Just us at the moment."

"Your flag?"

"We'll get around to it."

"Your ship?"

"This one will do nicely until we find one less...pink."

"Hmph, I should expect such poor taste from-"

BAM! "Shut up," Bonney interrupted, once again hitting her prisoner. "If I were you, I'd be more worried about the immediate future than your "superior" aesthetics."

Luffy was now approaching them, having lowered the life boats into the water and set them adrift. Noticing the two lumps on Alvida's head, he looked at his friend with a frown. "Did she give you any trouble"

She shook her head. "Nah, she just let her tongue get away from her. Speaking of this comfy cushion, what do you wanna do with her? She says she has a five-million belly bounty, and we're not wanted criminals yet. Just something to consider, ya know?"

"Before I decide anything, there's a more important matter we need to take care of," he replied in a serious tone.

Almost as if on cue, the stomachs of both teens erupted in a chorus of starving growls. Bonney immediately understood, grabbing the hand he offered. Upon standing, she watched as he lifted up Alvida as well, dispersing the bindings on her legs as he did so.

He gazed into her eyes and said the last words she would expect. "Take us to your kitchen."

 ***END FLASHBACK***

Thus, we return to the scene which left Alvida practically mute. Never had she seen such utter devastation of a dining room at the hands of two kids. It was only a single day since her crew had stocked up on everything from ammunition to enough provisions for at least two weeks at sea. Now, however, their vast supply was reduced to less than half of its former magnitude.

It hadn't taken long for the duo to pile the table high with nearly every piece of food they could fit, the edible tower reaching six and a half feet in height. With the goodies collected, they dug in with the worst manners the captain ever had the displeasure of viewing. Condiments sprayed through the air, bones were tossed aside, and cheeks were stuffed with more than they should've been able to hold. It became even more unsightly when the participants in the binge climbed on top of the table in their quest for fulfillment. She even heard shouts of "More! More!" from the girl named Bonney. Needless to say, Alvida quickly lost any appetite she may have had before entering the room. If she didn't have a front row seat to the show, she would've questioned whether they were even chewing.

Another odd aspect to their gorging that she noted was that no matter how much either consumed, neither of their bodies showed any side effects. Their abdomens remained trim, as if the food was being digested faster than they could eat it. 'What the hell are these monsters?' she wondered in slight fear. 'At least they're almost finished.'

Indeed, by the time she came out of her thoughts, the final scraps of meat were being scarfed down by the ravenous duo. With a couple of belches that could possibly shatter glass, they both collapsed side by side on their backs. A second ticked by, before they burst into laughter.

"Damn it," Bonney giggled, trying to calm herself down. "I almost had you there!"

"In your dreams!" he shot back through his own chuckles. "As always, I remain the champion!"

His boast was met by a bone to the face. "I'll get you eventually, ya watery dumbass."

Alvida nearly choked on her own saliva. 'Was that some kind of eating contest to them?!' "Um..." she spoke up from her chair beside the dining table.

Bonney, who was the closest to the prisoner, snapped her head to the side, a look of aggravation already in place. "You got something to say, princess?" she challenged.

The ship's captain took the challenge head on. "Actually, I do: can one of you please explain what just happened? I know that I'm the prisoner here, but I cannot un-see that and would like to rationalize it in some way, but I'm falling short on logic at the moment.

The younger woman was about to deny her the satisfaction of an answer, when Luffy came out of nowhere and sat on the edge of the table. "Sorry about that. You see, Bonney's Devil Fruit and mine as well take a ton of energy to use, so we're left half-starving after a big fight," he elaborated with a large grin. "Thanks for the food, by the way!"

"She has Devil Fruit powers too?" Alvida asked, having been in her cabin until the duo invaded her ship.

"None that you need to know of!" Bonney shot her down, finally sitting up next to Luffy. "Why are you even telling her this, Luffy? It's not like she's worth the oxygen."

He didn't break eye contact with the black haired woman. "Don't be so mean, Bonney. She isn't really that bad of a person."

"She tried to kill you with a spiked club!"

"So? You've done the same more times than I can count, with weapons that were way more deadly."

Just like that, her protests died down. She couldn't deny the fact that she'd tried to murder her best friend numerous times in the eleven years they'd known each other. At least she had a good reason. What could this bitch have done to warrant forgiveness? Nothing! She kept these thoughts to herself, though.

Alvida couldn't believe her ears. "How could you know if I'm bad or not? I'm the captain of a notorious pirate crew that has sunk and plundered enough ships to earn me a bounty. What makes you think-"

"One time."

The woman stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"Name one time that you've personally killed an innocent, and I'll take it all back."

The boy before her had gone from hyper to serious in the blink of an eye, and the challenge he posed hit her hard. Everything she'd boasted about was true, but she was alerted to a detail she had never thought to acknowledge. Sure, she dispatched plenty of her thuggish crew with her weapon of choice, but not one single civilian had died by her hand. It was always her men who did the intimidating, stealing, and murdering. Her hands were clean of innocent blood.

After not receiving an answer for a good five minutes, Luffy smiled again. "I rest my case. Trust me, I'm a great judge of character."

"Okay, so she isn't a total piece of garbage. Yippee," said Bonney sarcastically, making a 'whoopty-do' movement with her finger. "Back to the matter at hand: what do you want to do with her?"

"Hmm..." Luffy hummed, stroking his chin as he leaned toward Alvida, almost to the point of touching noses. She started to sweat, both from the uncomfortably close proximity and dread of what her near future held. The woman wasn't prepared for the question that came next. "Do you wanna join my crew?"

You could've heard a pin drop outside the dining hall with how silent it became. Neither female could believe what Luffy said, one in particular being highly opposed to the idea. Moments later, said girl displayed her displeasure at the mere mention of such lunacy by punching her captain so hard that he flew across the room and became lodged in the wall.

"Are you out of your damn mind?!" Bonney yelled, stomping over to his recovering body and grabbing him by the shirt. "We are not letting this slippery bitch come with us!"

"Give me one reason why not," he demanded, not fazed by the launching he received.

"I can give you a million reasons!"

"Sheesh, I only asked for one."

"Okay, reason number one: we know absolutely nothing about her! She could try to assassinate us in our sleep!"

"I told you she was good. When have I ever been wrong?"

Once again, he got her there. When it came to people, Luffy had a 100% success rate at judging character and morals. If he believed in someone, she had no reason to doubt him. However, this Alvida chick really grated on her nerves in the worst of ways. Everything that came out of her mouth seemed to piss Bonney off.

Meanwhile, Alvida was having her own internal debate. Her choices didn't leave much leeway. On one hand, she could join this crazy duo on their potential pirate crew, but no longer be the one in charge. On the other, they could just throw her overboard, or worse, hand her over to the Marines. Neither option ended with her as a free woman, yet the former guaranteed her survival. It really was a no-brainer in the end.

"I accept," she stated smoothly, drawing the attention of the arguing teenagers.

"What?!" Bonney shouted in surprise and rage.

Just to get even more of a rise out of the vulgar girl, Alvida continued. "I accept your offer. As of now I, 'Iron Club' Alvida, pledge my life and services to Monkey D. Luffy." She even complimented her words by dropping to one knee and bowing her head. Okay, maybe this was a little over the top, but the look on the little brute's face more than made up for the humiliation.

With a snap of Luffy's fingers, the remaining rings of his **Aqua Prison** fell off and pooled on the floor. He walked past his best friend, who was frozen in shock, and extended his arm toward his new crewmate. "Welcome aboard, Alvida!" he said cheerfully.

She gladly accepted it, allowing him to pull her to her feet with her full strength returned.

The woman was about to make some sort of witty response, when a twist of fate hit. The form it took was a cannonball tearing through the wall, passing inches from her nose, and carrying on through the opposite side of the ship. Splinters and shards of glass exploded from its entry and exit points, though no one present was harmed. All three of them slowly turned to look at the first gaping hole the projectile made.

Through it, they got a perfect view of the culprit: a Navy ship. It was a mid-sized boat with two sails and the traditional green and black exterior one would expect. The seagull flag was raised high on the tallest mast, declaring without a doubt who it belonged to, and on the deck stood a man.

If you wanted to paint a picture of the most pompous marine in the world, he would be a perfect candidate for your model. A white pinstripe suit set him apart from the other Marines under his command, as well as his bright pink hair. Around his right hand was a set of metal knuckle dusters. His expression remained indifferent as he gazed at the pirate ship he'd ordered one of his men to fire upon.

"Well, that was rude," Luffy commented nonchalantly.

Alvida nodded in agreement, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, no kidding. Who randomly fires on an enemy ship without announcing their presence? Talk about barbaric."

"As much as I hate to agree with Miss Priss, even I gotta admit that was a dick move," Bonney added, leaning her weight on a chair.

Any further banter was cut short by the condescending Marine calling out to them. "I am Lieutenant 'Ironfist' Fullbody of the Marines! I know that this is the ship of the wanted pirate Alvida! If you come peacefully, my men won't have to resort to lethal measures, and you'll make my job much easier. You have five minutes to comply."

"At least he has some common courtesy," observed Alvida, strolling over to a corner where a pile of roped laid. "But, that won't be enough to avoid punishment."

Bonney gave her a questioning look. "What did you have in mind?"

The older woman returned a sly grin. "Giving them exactly what they want."

* * *

 **And, that wraps that up. Once again, sorry for taking so long. This chapter was originally going to be much longer, but I cut it short because I didn't like how I wrote the continuation. That will be up soon, I promise.  
**

 **Anyway, tell me how I did in a review. Good? Bad? Do you wanna rip out my eyes and feed them to me? Go full ham in your reviews, guys. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS OF FLAMING AN AMATEUR AUTHOR! Also, while I'm not completely discouraging guest reviews, if you only review as a guest I can't respond and help with any misconceptions or questions you have. Food for thought, ya know?**


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